The Shortcut to Healing Your Relationship

The Shortcut to Healing Your Relationship

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the often-overlooked but truly transformative shortcut to healing your relationship: your emotions. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share how tapping into your emotional world—through bodily awareness, movement, and vulnerability—can radically accelerate trust, connection, and intimacy. They dismantle the idea that men are “wired” to be emotionally detached and instead show how emotional numbness is learned (and can be unlearned). With personal stories, practical guidance, and gentle truth-telling, they walk you through what it looks like to feel again, on purpose. If you're tired of repeating the same patterns and ready to finally move forward together, this one’s for you.

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Timestamps & Key Moments:
  • 00:00:27 – Intro: Brandon kicks off Episode 7, introducing the topic of emotional vulnerability as the shortcut to healing relationships.
  • 00:00:53 – Men, Emotions, and Misconceptions: Why many men were never taught how to navigate their emotions—and how that keeps relationships stuck.
  • 00:03:14 – Your body is telling the truth: How your nervous system and body sensations carry emotional signals we often ignore.
  • 00:10:01 – The Glass Cup That Didn't Break: Brandon and Caitlyn recall a symbolic moment during a breakdown—a glass that breaks the wall but not the cup, mirroring Brandon’s emotional shutdown and unbreakable numbness.
  • 00:14:10 – Fight/flight/freeze: What’s your pattern?: How the nervous system reacts in conflict and how to spot your default mode.
  • 00:20:11 – The Emotional Response Training Exercise: The hosts explain a practical tool: write about a present and past emotional experience, then mime out that emotion physically to reconnect with it. 
  • 00:23:24 – Why Most Men Are Emotionally Shut Down: How societal conditioning from childhood trains boys to disconnect from their emotions and why relearning that emotional grid is key.
  • 00:27:28 – “The Dailies” Exercise for Couples: A powerful tool for reconnecting emotionally as a couple, involving naming feelings and memories and affirming each other without judgment.
  • 00:33:00 – Embodiment: The Secret Weapon for Grounding: How breathwork, movement, and nervous system regulation practices like “heel pounding” and “shaking it out” help men stay grounded during intense emotional moments.
  • 00:39:05 – Taking responsibility and refusing to be a victim: Even amid betrayal, Caitlyn chose not to be a victim and actively took steps toward healing, nourishment, and accountability.
  • 00:43:23 – How to validate your partner using the connection flow: Brandon introduces the “connection flow,” a structured method for listening, reflecting, and validating your spouse's emotions without minimizing or fixing them.
  • 00:51:14 – Listen, reflect, ask: The final steps of the connection flow—how to validate your partner by listening, reflecting, and gently asking if there’s anything you missed.
  • 00:54:00 – Coming Fully Alive in Your Body: They encourage couples to stop being passive and invite one another into a living, breathing, emotionally vibrant relationship.
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